Why are you doing it? Why are you creating your own suffering?
Yes, you are doing it. You are doing it over and over again. But you are not aware of it yourself. Let me help you to become aware. Let me help you to become conscious how your are causing your own suffering.
First you can read this little story.
You are not laughing more than one time over the same joke. Then why are you crying over the same happening many, many times?
I always like to take examples from life. So here it is. The example works for all the things which you can lose in your life (something valuable, somebody close to you etc.) So I hope you can see a bigger picture here.
Feeling the loss over the same thing again and again
There is a program which went down two weeks ago. I´m not naming the site here and it does not actually matter what site it is. The site was still up but no communication from the owners, no news and all withdrawals were on hold. People started to panic and cry because they had money inside that program and now looks like the money is gone.
Even that reaction (panicking and crying) is not ok because you clung to that program and to the money you had there, but this is another topic and I´m not going to discuss it here 🙂
Most of the people lost hope and accepted the loss. Then after a week, news came up that the program will continue running and people got their hope back. People felt happy again.
Soon after the news, requirements were announced how people can get their money back. To unlock the funds they have to deposit the same amount they want to unlock from their balance inside the system. Again people lost their hope because they didn’t want to risk to put more money in. The loss was accepted and people went on with their lives.
Few days ago another news came out. People do not have to deposit new funds to release the old balance. What a lucky day. Hope came back and people were happy. Only thing that was asked was, people should just wait for further instructions and everything will be fine.
The new launch should have happened yesterday but nothing has happened and again no info and communication about what is going on behind the scene. People are starting to panic again: “What is going on? Why they haven’t said anything? Is the money gone?” and so on and so on.
This is very good example that you are crying over the same thing over and over again. With every bad news it feels like you have lost your money, AGAIN! Because with every good news you thought: “I still have hope. Everything is not gone yet. I have the chance to get my money back” and this made you feel like you had your money back.
In reality you didn’t get your money back and you lost it only once. But in your head you are losing your money over and over again. After every hope, when there was a sign that things don’t work out, you felt bad and deceived. But in reality nothing changed. You didn’t lose more money, it was still the same loss you accepted the first time. So why are you doing it? Why are you getting frustrated over the same thing again and again? It really feels like you are losing the same money again and again.
What you should do in cases like this?
Here is how I act in cases like this. I hope it can help you in your journey to become more independent of the situations in your life and you get less depressed if something bad happens.
I had/have my money in that program too. When the first sign of losing money arrived I said to myself: “Ok if it happens it happens, it is out of my control. I cannot change the outcome but I can change how I react to that. Do I let that happening take my mood down or I forget it and focus on other things which makes me feel good and happy?”
Worrying over the thing to which we have no power to change is pointless. It does not help even a little bit. It only makes things worse. Our mood goes down and we feel bad and disappointed. This makes us act and behave certain way which can ruin other peoples’ day too. Better learn from it and focus on other positive things.
And every time there is a sign that I can get my money back I would think: “Ok good, if it happens, it is my lucky day and if it does not happen, no problem. I have already accepted the loss and it doesn’t change anything.”
Always think that this money is already gone and you cannot do anything about it. And if you get it back it makes you feel very happy. If you would think other way: You are hoping to get your money back and if it does not happen, you feel bad, AGAIN!
Your mindset is the key to happy and fulfilled life, not the things which you own. Be aware of your thoughts and always concentrate on the positive. If you do that, you will start to see how many good things life can actually offer. You just have to tune yourself to see it all.
Accept the loss and move on with your life. There are so many other opportunities you may miss if you whine over past failures. Focus on positive and you will have and extraordinary life.