Everything has a purpose 1

Written July 15th 2016

I have been feeling down for last couple of days because of all those things that have happened (Many great programs have stopped working). But today, when I was walking on the street something hit me. Sun was shining, small breeze was gently blowing through my fingers and nice melody was coming from my earphones. My mind started to wonder, everything in life has a purpose and there is more behind the scenes. So here is a “little” story I would like to share with you.

Once upon a time there was a boy (Lets name him Roy). Roy lived with his mom and he had an older brother (5 years older). Roy’s parents were divorced when he was just 6 months old and he hasn’t seen his father since then.
But the life was good. He didn’t have to worry about anything. His days were full of play and enjoyment. One day when he was old enough, he went to school and he liked it there. Life seemed beautiful.
When Roy was 8, his family had to move away because Roy’s mom had got a new job in other town. Roy didn’t like the idea of leaving, he liked the life there, he liked his classmates and friends. Everyone were saying you will get new friends, you will like your new home and school and he got excited about moving to a new place.

But everything didn’t go the way Roy had hoped. The school were he went, was much bigger and in his class there were two bigger boys, who started to bully him day by day, week by week, year by year. Roy didn’t want to go to school anymore. He was always trying to find excuses why not to go to school because he was afraid of those two guys. In many mornings when his mom sent him out from the door, he didn’t get on the bus, he went to the forest instead and spent the day there. When the “school day” has ended he went back home like he had been in the school that day. Roy’s marks in the school went down and he had to repeat even one year because he didn’t finish that class.
Of course all days were not so bad. There was a lot of joy and happiness in Roy’s life but still there was a small though in his head, what will happen today, will he get bullied again today.

After Roy had turned 15, he finished the elementary school and he was finally free from the bullies. Life was again generous and good. But soon his free time was over, he had to go to work. Roy was 16 when he went to work in construction buildings where he mostly had to clean the construction waste. Roy was a free soul and he didn’t like to work from early morning to late evening and he didn’t like the job also so he quit it after few years. He stayed at home and hanged out with his friends all day.
When Roy was 19, his friends said to him go back to school and get a proper education. He went back to the school which he liked a lot, he got many new friends there and he was even one of the best students in his class. The life seemed to go on track when suddenly something huge happened in Roy’s life.

When Roy was 20, something very precious was stolen from his life. The cancer took his mom’s life and he was left alone (grandparents had been gone already). Roy’s brother had a drinking issues at that time and they didn’t get along at all with his brother so his mom was his only close person who he loved. And now when that very dear person was taken away, the hardest days of Roy’s life had began. Roy and his brother were very dependent on their mom’s income. Roy had a school which he needed to finish and his brother spent most of his salary to partying. It all went down to the point where they had to go and steal potatoes from the field to get something to eat and Roy had to collect bottles to buy some pasta when his brother was away because of his job.
Something needed to be changed so Roy went back to work. Fortunately he found the job which allowed him to finish the school and his brother also realized that this is not the life he wants and quit the drinking.

Step by step the life was starting to go back to normal. Roy finished the school. He found the job that he loves, he became a martial arts instructor. He has been martial arts fan since he was a kid, so he has made one of his dreams a reality. Roy fell in love and got two wonderful kids. After 6 years of being in a relationship, Roy was kicked out from home. He wasn’t giving enough attention to his girlfriend and his girlfriend fell in love with a new person. But Roy didn’t let this ruin his life and found a new girlfriend almost immediately.

Roy was very happy with his new life. The job which he loves, new young girlfriend who he adored like no one ever before. He thought he has got his lessons with past relationships and will not let the history repeat itself again. He had two wonderful kids and he had quite good relationship with the kids mom. So everything was good and he was very happy.

But life had another surprise waiting. One day out of the blue, his new girlfriend breakup with him and Roy fell in deep depression. He didn’t get any explanation why she had left and this ignorance eat him.

Everything changed on 3.03. 2015 when Roi found this article (undfortunately it is in Estonian but it’s about the difference of living in the voice of heart or in the voice of Ego). This article cracked something inside Roi which made him realize that he was completely living in the voice of Ego and he made the decision to break free and start living in the voice of heart.

Roy become possesed of personal development. He started to read lots of books and watch hundreds of videos on self development.

The date 3.03.2015 can be marked as a birth of Roy 2.0 🙂

Next year was the best year in Roy’s life. First time in his life he enjoyed being alone, he was addicted with self development and he found the real meaning of life – Living in the present moment and going with the flow of life.

There was just one thing missing in Roy’s life, financial security. As Roy had to give trainings only 3 hours a day, he had much free time and he tried to find a way to make money online. After 7 unsuccessful years he finally promised to himself, 2016 is the year when he will do everything in his power to succeed and he has spent all his free time to make this happen. But the financial situation has gone worse and worse with every month. Somehow the amount of students was dropping and the income was going less and less . The online work has not been successful yet and bills that needed to be paid started to increase.

With this situation Roy has faced one of his hardest challenges in life. In autumn one of his kids has to go to school but there is no money to buy the school items. Kids mom is constantly saying, go find a “normal” job where you have fixed salary and you can support us like normal fathers do. But Roy does not want to change his job, he loves his job and his life will lose the point when he has to quit the job he loves. So he is still trying to find a way to make his online career successful and give his kids the life they deserve.

What makes Roy to believe himself is the knowing that everything what has happened before had a certain purpose. All the difficult times have made him stronger and especially the hardest times have given him the best lessons of his life. Because he was bullied in the school, he can now teach peoples how to defend themselves. The loss of his mom at young age, made him independent and made him realize everyone has to take the responsibility for their own life. Because of mom’s death his brother quit drinking and build a family. His brother is now married and has 3 wonderful kids. Roy and his brother are now getting along very well.
The loss of Roy’s last love, made him look inside and he has finally learned how to live life without the mind controlling the life, which lets to live life fully.
And he knows, this last struggle will give him very valuable lesson at the end and he can be grateful that he has been through all those struggles. At the end it will make him a better father, better husband, better friend and better human being.


This is a story I wanted to share with you and I think you have already found out who Roy is. Yes, this is my life story and now I’m facing one of my hardest challenges in my life but I know I can fight it through and I will be grateful when it all ends. No matter how hard or difficult the challenge can be, if you are not giving up and keep pushing, you will win eventually. Everything has a purpose and when hard times have passed, you will realize it was actually a good thing that has happened, you just have to see the positive side of it. The coin has always two sides, you just have to find the positive side.
So next time when you lose something dare or you have very hard times in your life, know that this has happened for a greater good that is waiting for you.

 EDIT 06.04.2017
The story continues.Because you already know who Roy is, there is no point of talking about me as a third person.
At the end of August I knew that I will have a hard decision to make. Training rooms depths had gone over 900€ which is 1.5 times more from my regular salary and if in September the training group will not grow I have to quit teaching Wing Tsun which I have taught for 11 years already.

Like a miracle, the first training of the new season brought many new students to my school and I got rid of the debts in one month. I could continue doing what I love but with bigger knowledge and appreciation.

My BJJ class also grow and I had to move to new and bigger place which in other hand was much more expensive. Fortunately I got a good deal with the manager. First month the fee would be the same as in the old place and step by step it will increase to the actual amount. The price would get to its normal level in December.
I had enough time to grow the BJJ group bigger so I could afford to use the new place.

Then things changed suddenly. At the beginning of November I got a letter from the owner of the apartment I was renting. Owner wanted apartment back and I had to move out by the end of the month. This was a big shock. What now, where I’m going now? I had one month to find a new apartment, looked like it was enough.

Unfortunately not, in two years (when I started to rent the current apartment) renting prices had gone up pretty much and I could not afford to move to a new apartment.

At the end of the November I didn’t have new place to live but luckily I could make a deal with my ex (kids mom). I could live at their place for few months until I get my own living place.

Losing my apartment was actually a good thing 🙂 Because my BJJ rooms rent went up I wouldn’t have had enough money to pay for the apartment. Because owner wanted the apartment back I was free from the rent which I would not have been able to pay anyway. I lost my apartment at the right time.

But let’s move on with the story.
Moving back to my ex was a bad decisions but at the same time very good decision. Our relationship started to get worse with every single day until I could not stand it anymore. I took my things and moved out without any warning. I wrote very long letter to my ex (which she didn’t read at first, only one month later) and moved to my friends and her parents place which was totally out of town.
With that decision I lost the opportunity to see my kids. I cannot see them because I cannot support their mom financially when I´m away and it has been very emotional time to be departed.

I left my ex 2.5 months ago and I have seen my kids only once (for 15 minutes) from that time. Being away from my kids I have started to value them much, much more. The time away has given me very strong motivational boost to work my ass off for getting back on track. Plus I have had more free time to think, contemplate and learn. I realized I have been blocking my kids to be kids and enjoy childhood with my rules. I have forced my new world view on them too much.

Being away has given me the opportunity to enter into another stage of my personal development journey. This is the best stage so far and it has given me back the desire to pursue my goals. It has given me back the enjoyment of living which I was starting to lose because of all the downfalls. This has also opened my eyes how i have misguided my kids with my teachings. The last realization was very valuable lesson and I’m very grateful for it.

In the summer I started to value the lessons and struggles because they are making me a better and stronger person.

With current situation I have started to value and appreciate the things which I already have. Plus like I said I have gained back the enjoyment of life. I´m like a child again. Walking around with big smile on my face, looking around like everything is new to me, touching things like I have just found out that I have ability to feel etc. In other words, acting very weird in “normal” human’s eyes 🙂 And I would love to play with my kids again and act like they do. Being curious like every child and have fun doing childish things together 😉
We won’t stop playing because we grow up,
we grow up because we stop playing.

If something is taken away from you, you are not being left with empty hands. Is it preparing you for a future or you are getting something better in time instead, either way you are always getting something in return.
Everything has a purpose and my journey has been full of examples. We just have to notice them. We are part of a greater game and we have to trust where it leads us.

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