To tell you about the biggest change I have had during the last couple of years, I need to go back in time a little.
I joined Facebook in 2009 but first time I hit the “like” button was in October 2011. Next “like” was in July 2012. Both those like we’re page likes. My first ever post “like” was in October 2013 but it wasn’t public it was post in a closed group. My first public “like” on someone’s post was in January 2014. After that I started to like more and more posts.
My first comment on someone’s post was in November 2013 and again it was in closed group and not public. My first public comment on someone’s post was in April 2015 and my own first post on my wall was made on 5th of March 2015.
Why am I telling you all of this and why it took 6 years to make my own post in Facebook? Was my life so busy and I didn’t have time to be active in Facebook. Vice versa, I quit my day job and started full time Wing Tsun coaching in 2009. So I had all the time in the world. What was then the reason I wasn’t active in Facebook? No I wasn’t afraid of government or somebody else spying on me 😉
My reason for not being active in Facebook was: I was so afraid what my friends think of me when I like something, how they will react if I like something which goes against their believes or they dislike the thing that I liked. And to make my own post on something. Oh my God how can I deal with the criticism 🙂
I know, how somebody can be so dependent on someone’s opinion. But there I was, watching my every move so I would not make any mistake which can lead me into disaster (someone criticizes my actions). By watching this video (download audio) (it was one of my first videos from Leo. First was: “How to deal with breakup”) it hit me like lightning from clear sky. I was people pleaser and I didn’t even know that. I was attention whore without even realizing it. Most of my past actions and behavior patterns became so clear suddenly. And it makes me laugh now to think how I lived my life just 2 years ago.
If we look the Facebook history we can see that my first post in Facebook was on 5th of March 2015. Right after my “Spiritual journey” started. Dealing with the pleasing issue was the hardest challenge at that time. Every day for 30 days I had to repeat at least for 5 minutes the following sentence to reprogram my mind: “I’m totally independent from the good and the bad opinions of others”. It helped 🙂 plus I started to post and comment in Facebook on purpose to be vulnerable to the criticism.
Slowly I started to break free from those heavy chains. And yes they are heavy, very heavy. If you let other people’s thoughts dictate your life, you are their slave. And this is one of the biggest problems in today’s society. We always worry how we look, how we act, what we wear, what we say and so on. We are not authentic, we are not our true self, we are just a mere shadow of it. We are slaves, we are slaves of our mind. And this you are calling living? Shame! Read my post of one example how real freedom looks like.
With the last 2 years I have had huge progress in this topic. If I wouldn’t have found out this problem, I would never have created Revenue4U brand a year ago and definitely I wouldn’t be having a blog and writing this post 🙂 But still I’m not free. I’m still getting shivers when somebody says or comments something bad about me or my doings, but I can gain a control over the emotion quite fast, so the progress is there for sure.
I feel this has been the biggest change during the last 2 years when I started my personal development journey. I feel more and more free. I can be more authentic and real and not worry what others think. Many will label me as weird because my personality is someway different from regular folks but who gives a fuck. It is my life and I live it the way I want. I AM the writer, the director and the producer of my life and not anyone else, PERIOD